Left Out
by The Real JL Rules
Summary: ONESHOT: What is the Doctor playing at? Yaz is determined to find out what is up with her girlfriend...


_DISCLAIMERS/NOTES_

_1\. This is a fan fiction based on characters owned by the BBC. I DO NOT OWN THEM. This is just for fun._

_2\. This is a femslash story. If you don't like that sort of thing, you won't like this._

* * *

The first time it happened, Yasmin Khan thought nothing of it. It was Team TARDIS' latest adventure, and the Doctor was once again coming up with a crazy, madcap and ingenious solution to a life-and-death situation. An evil alien's tech needed shutting down, and the Doctor sent Yaz back to the TARDIS to activate an EMP blast on the console.

Yaz did not want to leave her girlfriend - even after a few months, she was still amazed the Time Lady was _her girlfriend!_ \- but dashed back to the time machine nonetheless, only to be completely befuddled by which button to actually press. Not that it mattered, however: after a few minutes, the Doctor, Ryan and Graham entered the TARDIS, the Gallifreyan breathily explaining. "Don't worry, Yaz - turns out we didn't need an EMP. Just a little short circuit with a nearby fuze box was enough."

The policewoman was a little deflated, to be honest, but shrugged it off when the Doctor gave her a hug and kiss.

The second time it happened, Yaz's consternation grew. Another escapade, another world to save. This time the Doctor needed special equipment from the police box. "Yaz, quick - go get the quasitronic jump leads from the TARDIS!" Yaz, as always, acquiesced, despite having no idea what "quasitronic jump leads" were.

Fortunately, she managed to find them, with help from the time machine. Yaz bounded out, cumbersome leads in hand, ready to be the saviour of the day and further impress her girlfriend. Her enthusiasm immediately died, however, when she saw the situation already resolved and her three compatriots congratulating eachother. The Time Lady assured her everything was fine, but thanked her for getting the jump leads regardless. "Oh," was Yaz's only response.

The _third_ time, Yaz knew something was definitely going on. Now trying to stop a deadly virus spreading across 3952 Earth, the Doctor sent Yaz to the TARDIS library to bring back a 40th century medical journal. Yaz _really_ did not want to go, even openly asking why Ryan or Graham could not do it instead. But the Time Lady used her wiles and convinced her girlfriend to go, sealing her request with those puppy eyes she surely picked up from a certain past companion.

Thing was, Yaz knew just how vast the police box's library was, and even with the "old girl's" help, it would surely take ages. It did not matter, however, as the Doctor eventually strolled into the library and actually seemed _surprised_ to find Yaz there. "You sent me here," came the policewoman's response, which the Time Lady blinked at. "Ah yes, of course," she had said, before explaining the problem was fixed anyway. Again, Yaz wanted to question her, but the Gallifreyan made her forget all about it with a quickie right there amongst the books.

From then, however, Yaz had enough. Leading to now, and Team TARDIS stomping back into the police box after the latest adventure… which nearly became a _mis_adventure. Yaz was almost shoved into the time machine by the Doctor, with Ryan and Graham close behind the women. Before Yaz could say anything, her girlfriend was patting her down. "Are you alright? Are you hurt?"

"I'm fine," Yaz insisted, frowning hard. "Stop it."

"Oh, I'm sorry!" sneered the Time Lady. "Please forgive me for wanting to make sure the woman I love is unharmed." Any other time, Yaz would melt at those words, but not right now. Especially at the Doctor's next ones: "For crying out loud, Yaz - what where you thinking?!"

Ryan and Graham, sensing the situation, hastily made themselves scarce. That happened alot, especially since the women started dating… but this was the first time it was due to a fight.

"Why are you so upset?" snapped Yaz. "We saved the day, came back unscathed… job done."

"I'm upset because you nearly got yourself killed!" yelled the Doctor. Indeed, it was a close call for the policewoman: primitive tribes, throwing spears, rabid wolves… and a flaming torch coming dangerously close to Yaz's skull. "Why didn't you do what I said, Yaz? Why didn't you come back here when I asked you to?"

The Human clenched her jaw. "Tell me exactly how a yo-yo would've helped in the situation," she said, referring to the latest item her girlfriend requested she fetch from the TARDIS.

"Because… " The Doctor paused, her eyes going wide. "Because… ah… I… I could've distracted them with it! Yes, that's it. Cavepeople find yo-yos fascina… " She stopped again, this time at the incredulous look she got from her lover.

"I think we could'a shown 'em a VR headset and they wouldn't have stopped tryin' to kill us," said Yaz.

"Which is exactly what nearly happened!" the Time Lady yelped. "You refused to leave and ended up nearly gettin' your head burnt to a cinder!"

"But I didn't, did I?" Yaz folded her arms in defiance. "It all worked out. I'm fine, you're fine, we're all fine. In fact, you could thank me for pushing you outta the way so the torch didn't hit _you_!"

"That's not that point," insisted the alien. "The point is, when I order you t'do something, you _do it_!"

At that, Yaz's eyes became saucers and she saw red. "I'm sorry, you _order_ me?

The Doctor seemed to realise what she said, and looked like a deer in the headlights. "That's… that's not what I meant… "

The young woman's eyes were threatening to water; she _finally_ had enough. "Doctor, tell me what's going on! Why are you forcing me out of things now? I thought we were partners - a _team_."

"Of course we're a team," the Time Lady said after a beat. "Team TAR… " She again stopped when Yaz gave her a _that's not what I meant and you know it_ look.

"Don't you trust me anymore?" Yaz asked.

"Of course I trust you, Yaz," the Doctor insisted. "I trust you more than anyone."

"You're not actin' like it lately," Yaz pouted. "Have I done something wrong? Besides 'not obeying your orders', of course." At that, the two shared a daggered gaze.

"Yaz, you just don't understand… "

"Then explain it to me," the policewoman pleaded. "A relationship goes both ways, Doctor. I trust you implicitly, but you need to trust me back." She then clenched her jaw, finding the next words hard to get out. "Unless of course, I'm just abit of fun for you. Your latest fling." Now her eyes were definitely wet.

"_No_," responded the Time Lady instantly. "_Absolutely not_. Yaz, I _love_ you… I can't believe you'd even question that… "

"Then _talk to me_, Doctor. Dammit, tell me what's going on." Yaz gave her a steely glare. "I know you have your secrets, but why can't you just tell me? What're you afraid of?"

"Just drop this, please," the Doctor asked slowly, her head ducking. "I can't… "

Yaz shook her head. "Can't _what_?"

The Doctor did not respond, instead turning to the TARDIS console and punching in controls. Within seconds, the time machine was gone from this latest hostile area and back in the vortex.

But Yaz would not let her off that easily. "Don't ignore me," she spat. "Don't you dare."

"I'm not ignoring you," the alien said. "I'm just busy right now."

The policewoman was having none of it. "_Crap_. You just don't want to talk to me… it seems _at all_ anymore."

"_Drop_ this." The Time Lady's words were spoken through gritted teeth. "I'm serious. Just _drop it_. I can't… "

"For God's sake, you can't _what_?!"

"I _can't LOSE YOU_, _Yaz_!" the Doctor suddenly screamed. Yaz stared at her wide-eyed, perhaps never seeing the Time Lady so distraught. "I can't lose you… not _now_… " With that, the Gallifreyan turned away and slumped her shoulders, resting her palms on the console. She looked utterly broken.

Almost instantly Yaz's anger dissipated, replaced with concern at the state of her lover. Tentatively, she approached the Doctor until she could see the side her pain-etched face, looking down emptily at the various incomprehensible buttons and levers.

Silence reigned for a few beats, before the Doctor's voice eventually broke in, now quiet and wavering. "You don't understand… " she breathed. "I've lost so much… lost so many… I'm… I'm always alone… "

Yaz frowned. "Alone… ? But, your past friends… "

"They never last. They all eventually leave… or worse." The Doctor momentarily closed her eyes in obvious pain. "And I'm 2,000 years old. Even with everyone I've travelled with, most of the time I'm alone. A few years here and there with people is nothing."

Yaz wanted to hold her girlfriend, but something - the TARDIS, perhaps? - told her to keep a degree of distance for the moment.

It seemed to be the wise choice, as the Doctor continued. "I was used to it, for the most part. But then you came, and you ruined everything."

Yaz blinked in shock. "_What_?"

The Time Lady looked at her, sadness in her eyes. "You broke through, Yaz. You're not the first to fall for me, but you are the first that I've fallen for… enough for me to _want_ to fall… for a very, _very_ long time. I love you more than anything, Yaz. I never thought it would happen, but you make the universe _second-best_."

Yaz was completely speechless, her jaw slightly agape at the words she longed to hear ever since she met the woman who fell from the sky into her heart. "… really… ?" she eventually whispered.

The Doctor nodded with a gulp. "But the only thing I want more than to be with you, is you to be _safe_. Don't you understand? Now that I have you, I can't lose you - not under any circumstances. Not until… I have to." A single tear trickled down her cheek, and now seemingly embarrassed, she hastily rubbed it away with a thumb.

Yaz, however, took her hand before she could do so and held it softly. "That's why you've been sending me on stupid errands."

Blushing, the Gallifreyan gave another nod. Now Yaz understood completely. It was not because the Doctor questioned her skills or competence… it was that she questioned her _own_ ability to protect the woman she loved.

Guilt filled the policewoman at her attitude over the past few adventures. It made perfect sense: she was _terrified_ of losing the Doctor, and the Doctor more than once hinted that she lost friends and family in the past. Yaz knew the Time Lady was a heavily guarded person, rarely divulging her history. She also knew how amazing it was for the alien to let those guards down and _her_ in. Yaz felt like the luckiest person in all time and space that the Doctor ever returned her feelings, not least because she knew what it signified for the wanderer.

And now there was an extra layer to that. The Doctor now proved she was _not_ reckless or irresponsible, as Graham often moaned. Quite the opposite: she was determined to keep her lover safe from any potential harm.

"Doctor… love… " That endearment caused the Time Lady to look back up and the two locked eyes. "I'm sorry."

"What?" the Time Lady frowned. "What're you sayin' sorry for? If anyone should be sorry, it's me… not that I particularly am, though. I mean, I'm sorry for upsettin' you, obviously, but not for tryin' t'keep you sa… "

Yaz stopped the rambling with a finger to her lovely lips. "I'm sorry for not getting it. I should've realised why you were sending me away. But you must understand… I know _exactly_ what I'm getting into. Like I told you in Sheffield, I - and Ryan and Graham - understand and accept the risks. I know you'll do everything you can to protect us, but _you_ also have to trust us in keeping _ourselves_ safe." She smirked slightly. "Particularly Graham." The two shared a light chuckle at that.

It did not last however, as Yaz quickly went serious again. "If we're gonna be together, then we can't keep things from eachother - not _that_ type of thing. You know that, don't you?"

"I s'pose I could give it a go." The Time Lady gave a lopsided, pathetic smile.

Unable to stay angry at the woman who owned her heart, Yaz stroked her cheek. "And no more sending me to get stupid stuff, OK? My place is by your side, no matter what. Whatever happens, you won't face anything alone again, you got it?"

The Doctor sighed heavily. "My clever Yasmin Khan… what would I do without you?"

"You'll never have to worry about that," Yaz insisted. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm in this for the long haul, and that includes the danger. Besides… you'll protect me, right?" She gave a teasing smile.

The Doctor looked at her with steely determination. "We'll protect _each other_." Yaz nodded in response, then the two enveloped eachother in a passionate embrace, their lips connecting in a deep kiss. All the tension evaporated, replaced with their overwhelming love for one another.

Eventually, they had to break for air, and the they touched their foreheads. "M'sorry," mumbled the Doctor.

Yaz gave another kick kiss, then took her girlfriend's hand again and began leading them out the console room. "C'mon, I think we need some time to ourselves."

Getting the hint, the Doctor's face lit up. "Ooh, are we gonna have makeup sex? Don't think I've ever had that."

Yaz let out a huge laugh. "Don't get used to it! I don't like us fighting!"

"Agreed," the alien said with a pout. "_Definitely_ don't like fightin' with my Yaz." Both were overjoyed that term could still be used. Yaz promised herself she would _always_ be the Doctor's, and hoped she would forever hold a place in the alien's own hearts.

As they strode towards one of their rooms, they passed Ryan and Graham; the boys probably coming to see if the coast was clear. The Doctor turned her head back as she continued being led by Yaz. "HeyGrahamandRyanmeandYazwillbeafewhoursdon'ttouchanything!" With that, the girls disappeared down the corridor, the Time Lady excitedly hopping as they went.

The step-grandad-and-son stared after them, then turned to eachother. Graham gave a simple shrug. "I think they've made up."

THE END


End file.
